everything in my life and body has been telling me that something has to give, and i’ve been putting a lot of consideration into how i can prevent dragging myself to an early grave with my anxiety and depression and grief and general social work burnout. i literally cannot do social work without thinking about anything other than how much i hate capitalism, and it’s become clear that i need to step back for a bit. when people in your social work program pull you aside to tell you that they are considered about your mental health (and trust me, everybody in my program is damn exhausted), you know that there is a visible problem. after a lot of consideration, i’ve decided to make the following very loose plans.
my field placement will not be able to hire me after i graduate, and i will therefore be unemployed without anything to occupy my time in late may. which is actually a lot more stressful to consider than the multiple papers i have to spew out before then. there is a lot of pressure out of an msw program to score the **right** job, because otherwise you are selling yourself and your lifetime earnings extraordinarily short. i do not think that i can handle being unemployed and living at home while looking for jobs, and so instead i am looking an the option of traveling for a period of time. i figure that i can apply to jobs remotely. additionally, this will be my last opportunity for quite some time to actually vacation and explore and not be on a very tight schedule. i am looking into visiting the west coast, and i attempting to figure out some sort of vague schedule. i would like to ideally be in new york city for late june because of punk island / dyke march / queerball / other fun shit, however if there are also rad events happening on the west coast i’d say fuck it. i am thinking that maybe i can somehow figure out how to score a rideshare to chicago from whenever to fedup fest? idk. my plan would probably be to start in tacoma washington and venture south towards oakland bay to meet the the US queers who don’t currently reside in philly or brooklyn.
and so i am wondering —- do any of you on the west coast know of shit that i would be interested in checking out during the months of june and july? do you know of temporary seasonal work? places i can couch surf / sublet? if so, please hmu <3
i’m interested in having a conversation with other people who are actually FROM manhattan or brooklyn about their decisions to live with or move away from family & how to best counter gentrification / commercialization
I’ve said this before, but All Trans Guys Are Gay is a phenomenon that rests on a couple of different factors:
1. Desire vis-a-vis masculinity doesn’t always- or even usually- like keeping itself to one side of the ‘wanting to be//wanting to fuck’ binary
2. It’s safe to say that most for-lack-of-a-better-word transmasculine people who like guys even a little have a complicated history around:
a) sleeping with dudes in spite of misgendering
b) avoiding acting on desire due to how especially scary het dudes are, or the risk of misgendering
c) having a lot of frustrated longing for queer dudes and being viewed as sexually invisible by same (or, possibly, having sex with queer dudes and being misgendered nonetheless)
d) to the extent that one is in the queer scene at all, being part of a sexual economy in which the default ideal pairing is transmasculine people and (especially cis) femmes, in which sex between transmasculine people is encouraged far less and hard to puzzle out and often goes along with a lot of mutual weirdness about gender, and in which cis dudes are pretty much nonexistent and the few who are present definitely seem to give far more sexual attention to people who’ve been on T or otherwise are more legible
e) being actively discouraged by cis society to disavow sexual desire for men, because Trans Guys = Super Lez Butches, and to some extent admitting you like guys and are also trans of some sort is like dragging yourself over a meadow of broken glass
3. Changes in presentation and how you fit into various sexual economies as a result- which sometimes goes along with being thrust from scarcity into relative plenty/opportunity- are something that it can take a while for one to adjust to in a sane and healthy way
None of this is meant to excuse the kinds of fuckery that are typical of trans guys etc. going after men- particularly the nauseating phenomenon of same dating women and femmes and treating them like shit while running after, and often being more respectful towards, dudes of various kinds- but, merely, to explain certain components of the phenomenon that perhaps require elucidation.
I was terrified. If I hadn’t already humiliated myself by unknowingly saying it in front of Against Me!'s singer Laura Jane Grace, I wouldn’t be as blatant about it here. But since I’ve already dug that grave, I’ll go ahead and be honest.
My relationship to Against Me! is enormously complicated.
faunop requested I upload this mix I made in 2013 to 8tracks, so I did. It was originally called the punk got fucked.
Rekindling my obsession with The Clash caused me to rediscover a lot of other music I used to listen to frequently. So I made a mix. It’s half-punk, half other stuff; it’s almost entirely bands from England, though there is at least one Scottish band and one American band in the mix.
Also: “Scottish Rite Temple Stomp” is my jam, and “Thick As Thieves” kills me.
X-Ray Spex - Warrior In Woolworths
Television Personalities - Part Time Punks
Comet Gain - The Punk Got Fucked
The ‘Tone - Busy Being Bored
Mekons - Wicked Midnight
The Soft Boys - I Wanna Destroy You
The Mission of Burma - That’s How I Escaped My Certain Fate
Gang of Four - At Home He’s A Tourist
Wire - Dot Dash
The Fall - Rowche Rumble
Prolapse - Headless in a Beat Motel
Ninian Hawick - Scottish Rite Temple Stomp
The Raincoats - Lola (Kinks cover)
The English Beat - Save it for Later
The Specials - Nite Klub
Elvis Costello and The Attractions - Watching the Detectives
1. slingshot dakota - ohio 2. cibo matto - working for the weekend 3. deerhoof - milkman 4. sonic youth - sacred trickster 5. helium w/ the bird of paradise - puffin stars 6. the spinanes - stupid crazy 7. songs for moms - in nightmares 8. mary prankster - tempest 9. mary christ - past self 10. cayetana - mountain kids 11. tiny tusks - air or void