yesterday, i got new shoes & a new tattoo (yes, i went with the bikini kill record player - no fucks given here) to celebrate getting thru my first year of grad school. 

i no longer aspire to be a “riot grrl” & i am well aware of the many issues with 90’s punk feminism. however, bikini kill was my introduction to both diy / punk / anti-capitalist ethics AND accessible feminism & they got me thru the second toughest period of my life (high school). i was an vocal feminist & a bbqueer  which was alienating as hell & i listened to bikini kill every day to remind myself that i was not completely alone & in hope that, one day, i would be immersed in a community in which others “got” in. it’s been 12 years since i first purchased “reject all american” &  i now have lots of friends in feminist bands & trade zines with rad folks across the globe & have directly corresponded with many of my long time feminist role models. the record player is sorta like my “it gets better” symbol & i can really use something positive & inspirational on my body right now (even if i’m totally being a rah rah republica)

these sandals are really comfortable. 

12:35 pm  •  19 May 2013  •  23 notes

mikroblogolas:

ineffableshe:

mikroblogolas

[snip re:”hard femme,” “soft butch,” “tomboy femme” blogs circulating the same web content] 

essentializing gender presentation into all-encompassing ~identities~ and then fetishizing those identities feels super weird to me.

i’m very pro naming your gender expression and identity in a way that feels congruent with your “true self” or whatever //  gender identity can be complex & it’s so very real to want to claim multiple signifiers // jackie wang’s “on being hard femme” was definitely an influential read a couple of years ago, however the tumblrification of gender presentation tends to fall along these really fetishistic & ahistorical lines & it’s rly gross. gender presentation in the queer world is about so much more than aesthetics & it makes me queasy how these new labels are springing up & being claimed by straight, cis folks because of fashion blogs. i really only care about femme & other queer gender markers because they help me to articulate my lived experience as a lesbian who is the target of hetersexism & misogyny, these labels dont exist in a vacuum etc etc etc i’ve written this all before, but it continues to make me irate 

thanks for the commentary. personally I have never been able to find my “true self” in any particular gender expression, whether it’s in terms of clothing, interests, or gendered behavior. what all these labels seem to do is express that no one is 100% masculine or 100% feminine, and for that label to require a label is super frustrating.

(but yeah about the fashion blogs…)

here’s the thing — capitalism forces us to compartmentalize different parts of our identities & as queers we tend to buy into the “if you can name it, you can own it” phenomenon. fashion blogs, to me, are still part of the pink dollar market…but i am honestly uncomfortable expressing that in most contexts because i’ve encountered so many so misogynistic, andro-centric queers who get a kick out of shaming femmes for not being “queer” or “radical” enough because they have an interest in the traditionally feminine hobbies of fashion & shopping. having an interest in fashion and expression via beauty products and having an investment in anti-capitalist diy politics are not mutually exclusive, you know??????? diy femme fashion exists…and does it even matter if femmes wanna purchase products that make them feel good??? we don’t shame andro / masculine of center people who collect more traditionally masculine products (look at the size of my record collection!!! it’s almost as big as my ego!!!) nearly as much as we shame feminine-presenting folks. 

with that said, i also have yet to discover my “true self” in any wardrobe. and even though my relationship to my gender expression (& even my gender identity) is complicated at best, i have to say that when i dress more traditionally feminine or in contemporary “hard femme” attire, something just feels right. when i tried to present myself as being more andro  in the past, i never felt as confident or comfortable in my body or my sexuality. gaining more mastery of my gender presentation isn’t exactly liberation, but it still feels super nice & it’s important to me that my gender expression is respected (esp by other queers).  

(Source: daxsymbiont)

12:13 pm  •  11 May 2013  •  67 notes

wildbayou asked: i so agree with yr comments on the latest post re femme identity- straight folks i know have been claiming it and using it with fashion only, and i explain the queer implications but it gets lost. and how also as a fem lesbian it has narrated my life, and i dont want it to be , and how for me as well it is part of my lived experience. this was probably rambly, but its happened to me so many times lately and i have been so frustrated!

this isn’t rambly, it’s relatable! 

and yeah, i think that where a lot of people get lost is when folks like us try to articulate that femme & other gender markers aren’t necessarily choices we make to self-empower. yes, i consciously choose to present myself in more traditionally “feminine” ways — i wear my hair long, play around with makeup, have a pretty sick vintage dress collection if i dare say so & i know what i’m getting myself into when i dress like such — however, “femme” is a label that was put onto me years before i “re-claimed” the label. as an out queer person, my gender presentation has literally always been scrutinized & judged. for example, the first question i was asked when i introduced both straight & queer people to my long time partner was “who is the man & who is the woman in your relationship?” meaning that our gender presentations were always bound to compared against and defined in the context of our relationship with another & that, as a couple, we were not expected to occupy similar roles. other queers are still astonished that i, as a feminine-presentating person, tend to gravitate towards other feminine-presenting folks. even during years when i didn’t wear makeup & presented myself in a more stereotypically androgynous manner, i felt a pressure to queer up my presentation because i wanted to feel validated & known. 

11:55 am  •  11 May 2013  •  8 notes

now that most of the repulsively misogynistic “femme is empowered femininity” discourse has died down, i feel exponentially more comfortable identifying as such. i totally fit all the criteria of femme y’all, i just don’t think my invisibility makes me oppressed or that my gender presentation (& lipstick collection) alone is what enables me to resist // makes me feel sorta strong

10:34 am  •  18 January 2013  •  13 notes

Anonymous asked: whats feminization? and why is that a bad thing? what is that the queer community is doing that is sexist? is it because of the femme positivity stuff? sorry if i got that wrong but i dont really understand your last post

feminization, in the context that I was using it, refers to the devaluation and mistreatment  of people who are read as feminine or women. feminization is usually used when talking about what sociologists call the “feminization of poverty,” which is the phenomenon in which women represent disproportionate percentages of the world’s poor. in this instance, i was talking about how feminine / femme folks usually have much less social capital in queer communities. on the internet, this problem is usually coined as “femmephobia” - i, however, want to point out that it is just another extension of patriarchy. and to clarify, i think that femme positivity is important - i just don’t understand why we refer to it femme positivity rather than feminist empowerment.

even those most queer communities uphold values that are contrary to the prevailing norms of society, they are still not immune to overarching systems of hierarchy. racism, sexism, transphobia etc. are all major issues within most queer spaces. primary examples of sexism within queer scenes i’ve participated in have been the positing of male / masculine of center sexualities to the front (which works hand in hand with the devaluation of lesbian identities), the expectation to vocally distance oneself from all feminist movements / make a point out of how you aren’t a feminist, violent threats against women who don’t agree with their male peers on particular issues etc.

4:21 pm  •  27 July 2012  •  7 notes

i’ve been complaining for a long time about how ridiculous i find femmecon to be, but yesterday i actually felt myself starting to get mad. because the queer community is, by far, the most mobilized around conferences which center around dress / individualism & there’s such little internal critique within online queer spaces, so of course radfems decided to pick up the slack & talk about how feminiziation - not fucking “femmephobia” ugh - is an extension of patriarchal oppression. because none of the social justice heros in our communities were fucking doing it. because even queer communities fucking hate women. we (anti-essentialist gay / queer folks on the internet esp from progressive backgrounds) sorta allowed it to get to this point by not talking about material realities and concerns for fear of gender exclusivity or not using the correct language. and of course, radfems took advantage of our silence to manipulate material realities talk to spread transphobic messages of anatomical determinism.  it’s just really fucking sad to me, and i think it’s really fucking dangerous how divisive we have allowed the split between “radical queer” and “radical feminist” to become. neither “side” seems capable of validating what others are going through, listening empathetical, treating others as they want to be treated but also addressing that patriarchy is a major force which teaches us how to navigate certain social interactions, contort our bodies & structure our personal narratives. can my new address be over a hill, under a rock?

9:20 am  •  26 July 2012  •  20 notes

raspberryfeministbarbie asked: i read your post about femme identities on tumblr, and i'm kind of confused about what femme means (i was before, but i wanted to discuss it some more if that's ok), i have it in my url so i think i have a basic enough understanding to use it to describe myself, but what do you think of femmes such as mia mingus and leah lakshmi? does femme have any meaning in terms of uniting queers (and meaning period) if anyone can adopt it and give it whatever meaning they wish (things ive seen said)? also

(part 2) hoax zine looks really cool!

i’m taking it that you mean this post? or perhaps this one?

i might not be the best person to answer this question because femme is not a term feel an especially strong connection to. i was fortunate to meet partners & befriend gay woman outside the queer dating scene / “community” during my formative gay years, so i never really picked up on certain queer lingos. regardless, femme is a term that others have repetitively  used to describe my gender presentation so i do have a couple of points to make:

the label femme was once used to describe role distinctions in 1950s butch / femme bar culture. as queer communities evolved, so did femme. growing up in the early 2000s, i mostly heard femme used to describe feminine-presenting women who date butchier girls. in the past five years or so, femme seems to have become less about how feminine-presenting folks such as myself date or dress but rather how people contort their bodies & express gender as a conscious form of self-empowerment.

i  don’t think that adopting femme and giving it your own meaning is especially problematic or appropriative. for decades, femme has been a pretty darn individualistic label and you aren’t directly hurting anybody by changing its meaning and making it your own. just make sure that you know your history and understand labels like such have never existed in some vacuum. don’t assume that femme expresses the same meanings to you and & yr peers as it does to gsm who come from different backgrounds or are of an older generation.

with that said, i think femme organizing without explicit and direct feminist analyses is pretty weak. most problems that gay people who are feminine-presenting face have little to do with “femmephobia,” but rather homophobia and misogyny. i tend to think that it’s much more productive for feminine queer folks to invest time and energy into feminist organizing rather than femme conferences & shit. however, i get that i’m pretty fortunate to have grown up amongst other queer folks who looked similar to me. femme obviously has the potential to be pretty damn meaningful to others & if femme is where you find your community of support, well who am i to judge?

i’m not super familiar with mia mingus. i’ve read excerpts of leah lakshmi’s writing, and i’ve always thought it was fairly on point.

thanks for the kind words about hoax.

2:06 pm  •  16 July 2012  •  3 notes

im sick fucking of the queer community at large propagating the bullshit dichotomy between feminine and “femme.” i.e. that feminine = something that others put on you / apolitical / some male gazey shit whereas “femme” = reclaimed femininity on one’s own terms as an act of rah rah empowerment. its really fucking gross & anti-woman to make the blanket assumption that folks who happen to be feminine-presenting / hold traditionally “feminine” interests but aren’t into talking about queering their makeup collection are puppets of patriarchy. gender expression is not always a progressive or political act. sometimes it is but you can also still have agency  & be critical / anti-patriarchy without making youtube videos about your political decision to wear fishnets. 

the only thing that really differentiates feminine from “femme” is that the later is a cultural signifier. nothing is inherently wrong with that - in fact, i totally get the importance of using language that links you to a community of others with similar interests & who engaged in similar struggles. but we have to remember that this said community primarily young / white / western / educated. and that, for some of us, gender expression and play is not our primary tool of resistance. 

(btw yes, i am referring to the first minute or so of this video. i stopped watching after the first bit because i was too busy yawning. but yeah, this isn’t the first time i’ve heard these arguments).

1:33 pm  •  2 June 2012  •  56 notes

so, femmecon is coming to baltimore. they will be meeting / partying only a few blocks away. that’s cool i guess, maybe i’ll go get a drink with everybody. but i have to admit, i don’t really get it. by it, i mean why the hell folks would travel across the across the country & pay $60-$100 to attend a femme-specific conferen$$$e in order to “explore, discuss, dissect, and support queer femme as a transgressive, gender-queer, stand-alone, and empowered identity” when you can be talking about the underlying issues behind almost all “femme problems” - heterosexism / homophobia & misogyny - in your communities for free. i’m not judging, i totally get that “femme” is really important to many folks. i guess i’ve just never personally prioritized gender expression as a focal point for community-building. i mean, i’m feminine-presenting and deal with “invisibility” shit all the time. but, given how shitty this world is to almost all women and queers, a narrow focus on “femme” alone seems like the lowest priority. i guess it upsets me on some level how femmecon-este stuff is almost unanimously seen as “progressive” amongst queers whereas self-selecting / non-gender essentialist “women’s spaces” which focus on healing from the violence that is pretty much inevitably if you have, at some point, been read as female are consistently bashed across the board.

i guess it’s cool that they have a scent policy though.

3:18 pm  •  31 May 2012  •  18 notes

if i absolutely had to name my gender presentation, it would prolly be “lazy femme.”

chipped nail polish +unbrushed hair in a ponytail + cherry chapstick as lipgloss

ps - i enjoy “unmakeuping” myself to
look less presentable at the office (Taken with instagram)

10:52 am  •  11 April 2012  •  6 notes

[img = image one, the torso of a white girl wearing a black dress & sweater, black puffy boots, and floral tights. image two, the same white girl holding up two sweaters. to the left is a light blue / pink / black one, to the right is an orange and white striped one]

tumblr! i never figured out how to dress myself & desperately need yer fashion advice! should i add color to this ensemble by wearing one of the above sweaters (i also have a green leopard print sweater that is not in that picture). or should i let these colorful floral tights stand out by pairing them with black alone? are these boots too 2007 (haley wore my shorter, sleeker ones to work today booo hooo hoo)

edit: i’m late for work so i’m gonna walk out looking like i do in the first pic. should i be embarrassed to be dressed like such a boring girl shaped lump????

9:09 am  •  20 February 2012  •  6 notes

graftversushost:

quickdive:

stfubiphobia:

quickdive:

bialogue-group:

1. Society assures me that my sexual identity is real and that people like me exist.
2. When disclosing my sexual identity to others, they believe it without requiring me to prove it.
3. I can feel sure that upon disclosing my sexual identity, people accept that it’s my…

Uuuum exclusively homosexual people are not privileged over bisexuals. I am not doubly oppressed because I like guys too. That doesn’t even make sense. This list is ridiculous and just a tad offensive.

/a bisexual woman

it’s not about being “doubly” oppressed. there is no hierarchy of oppression because no one can measure whether someone’s oppression is worse than someone else’s. this list is pointing out things that bisexual folks have to deal with that “monosexual” folks (for lack of a better word) don’t have to deal with, in regard to this identity specifically. if you are bisexual and these don’t apply for you, or you disagree, that is fine and likely. however, many bisexual folks do experience these things daily, and they are valid and real. 

Except not everything needs to be about privilege and oppression, and by saying that gay/lesbian people oppress us with their ~monosexual privilege~ you ARE creating a hierarchy. How would you like it if a gay person made a bisexual privilege checklist? You’d probably throw a fit. But whatever, I’ve had this argument many times before and I doubt I’m going to change your mind.

oh my god is this still actually happening? everyone who just parrots “there is no hierarchy of oppressions!” and “oppression olympics!” was in need of a serious intervention before they even started talking. and everyone who thinks you can talk about homophobia and “biphobia” as though they are just mystical forces out there floating independently of each other need to realize that patriarchy is not a fantasy novel. these are not evil gods with names and personalities, they are just logics of the same power structure. 

after more years of being bi than some tumblr users have been alive, it sure is news to me that i’m specifically oppressed for being reasonably capable of attraction to the (roughly) half of the human population that heterosexism wants me to be.

oops i mean ME ME ME ME ME IT’S ALL ABOUT ME AND MY ERASURE PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE ;_;

okay, so for years i really had to grapple with not being only attracted to women. it took me a relatively long time to “come out” because i didn’t know what i should come out as. i really used to wish that i was a “true” lesbian because then everything would be so much simpler. but yeah, sexuality is rarely ever simple. sexuality is unique to every individual & i find the idea of monosexual privilege really messed up. what the fuck is up with trying to guilt another oppressed population using these checklists? peggy mcintosh’s checklist is a classic, but at this point these checklists have been taken way too far. they are being used to present privilege & oppression as an either/or phenomenon, completely ignoring the ways in which many of these power structures are bound. “biphobia” tends to be yet another extension of homophobia & misogyny folks. same with “femmephobia.” that’s not to say these oppressions don’t exist but that we are derailing when we constantly try to put blame on other people & refuse to acknowledge the roots behind these phenomenons.

also, this list of monosexual privilege seems to assume that gay/lesbian people are all attracted to people of the same gender, which is flat out offensive & absurd. ugh.

(Source: radicalbi.wordpress.com, via saltmarshhag-deactivated2013011)

4:06 pm  •  31 August 2011  •  311 notes

pinktacolovers:

The Look for Stereotypical ‘Tough Femme’: New take on the classic femme. These ladies wear high heels and dresses, but kick some serious ass. They are often heavily tattooed and have perfectly styled long dark hair. Sometimes they look a little rockabilly, other times vintage pinup. They might pass as straight, but any dyke will recognize them as one of their own.

I want to look like this person.

(via garbagecult)

11:30 am  •  23 June 2011  •  481 notes

southernish:

ineffableshe:

southernish:

You know what I’m sick of? Folks within the queer community tearing each other down, attacking each others’ identities, trying to define identities that aren’t even theirs. It’s no wonder why we can’t get anything done as a community because we’re too god damn busy deconstructing each other and playing this bullshit queerer-than-thou game. I’m sick to death of it. You can claim your own identity and perform it any way you see fit without invalidating someone else’s. It is possible.  

What I’m not interested in, however, is inclusivity to the point of erasure. I have no desire to assimilate and while I love and appreciate our allies, there is a difference between being an ally of the queer community and a member of the community.

I’m taking it that this is partially addressed at me, since I’m pretty sure that I was just unfollowed.

i completely agree with you about identities being subjective and the need to stop queerer than art thou in-fighting. i am currently reading a huge book about the early history of hiv/aids and it’s making me think a lot, every day, about how queer in-fighting will be the destruction of us all.

with that being said, i strongly believe that an important first step in order to prevent in-fighting is to be mindful of the terms we use to describe and present ourselves. i completely agree that a person can claim an identity without invalidating another person with the same identity.

however, certain labels have certain political and historical contexts. i personally do not feel like i fit into gender roles or expectations and have a number of shared experiences with people who identify as genderqueer and trans*. but even though my fight to find a way to be feminine without hurting (and trust me, traditional expectations of gender have hurt me, a lot) involves a lot of queering up gender, i would never publicly announce that i am genderqueer. because i feel that doing that would erase the experiences of people who actually are genderqueer. yes, all people relate to identity signifers differently. there are many different narratives for most labels. however, when i think genderqueer i think about the experiences of friends of mine who have really, really struggled in a dysphoric, painful sense that doesn’t even begin to match what i have gone through. these people haven’t always had the term genderqueer at their disposal and their experiences were erased by feminist, queer, and trans* communitities alike.  i strongly feel like i would be appropriating and erasing their identities if i were to use this term to describe my relationship to my gender.

with all of this being said, i think that us queers often draw false lines between groups that are oppressed and groups that are not. that’s where a lot of the gender and queerer art thou policing factors in. just because somebody doesn’t identify as genderqueer doesn’t mean that they are happy go-lucky and comfortable with their gender as a cis person. privilege is not always that simple.

with that being said, i am not out to police anybody’s gender or sexuality. if somebody identifies in a certain way, that’s cool. as a cis person especially, it is not my role to say who is and who isn’t genderqueer. i aim to treat people the way that they want to be treated, and that applies to respecting a person’s gender and sexual identity. of course, i have made pretty major mistakes and appreciate the people who have gone out of their way to call me out.

i was responding specifically to a quote that really seemed to be using a cis framework to appropriate a trans* experience. once again, i am very sorry if i am making assumptions and being hypocritical. i’m not trying to sound like an asshole. i was just trying to point out something that i felt was really offensive.

i am sorry if i hurt or invalidating you. i want to make it known that i am writing out of a place of good intentions. this is just how i feel, and i understand if you feel differently. i am re-blogging in an effort to open up dialogue, and i am more than ready to listen if you or anybody else thinks that i have said something really messed up and need to be called out.

I understand what you’re saying and agree to an extent. I’d also like to point out that no one I know who identifies as genderqueer would necessarily identify as trans. The two identities are not the same thing. I reblogged the quote you’re referencing because I really appreciate the “femme is queering gender” sentiment and admittedly, I should have added commentary to make that clear. 

I unfollowed hastily and I admit that (that would be the Aries in me and the lack of sleep…) The fact is, I’ve grown tired of hearing people who don’t ID as femme trying to define it based solely on some people they may know or something they saw in a movie. It’s problematic for people who don’t ID as femme to continue perpetuating mistaken assumptions of what femme is or isn’t when they don’t live it. (I’m not saying you’re the only one who does this either. I’ve seen it all over and on Tumblr in particular.) As you said, certain identities have strong historical and political context and femme would be one of those.

The main reason I wrote this post is because more often than not, my dashboard is full of negative attacks on others’ identities and/or attempts to find their voices in our community rather than having productive, constructive conversations. There’s a way to call out privilege without coming off as cruel (not saying you’ve done this). I want to see more community-building, more calm discussions (like this one) rather than all the condescending, mean-spiritedness that I’m seeing.

Thanks for the dialogue.

Thanks for responding!

To clarify, the main reason I have been responding to these femme posts is because femme is a identity that I really, really relate to. Most of my experiences in queer circles are what most would describe as “femme” experiences. I’ve also spent the past decade or so trying to re-define my femininity in a way that is not hurtful. I really related to the sentiment of the said quote, I was just offended by what I read as approprative undertones.

For a bunch of personal reasons, I do not feel comfortable claiming “femme” as my fixed gender identity. It’s strange. Honestly, I’m starting to feel less and less comfortable using the term queer to describe myself as well. The pressure that I have experienced to name my gender within queer circles has begun to feel really reductive. I’ll probably write a longer post about all of this later.

With that being said, I totally understand why you would be upset about non-femmes trying to police what is and isn’t femme! That shit isn’t cool.

Once again, all of these terms are rooted in cultural contexts. From yesterday’s post, I assume that our local femme communities may be rather different. Hence, our different relationships to the implications of that term.

Sorry if this post is incoherent - I’m beyond exhausted at this point. But I’m really glad to be having this conversation.

(via veganfemme-deactivated20120313)

10:56 pm  •  31 May 2011  •  31 notes

I am writing to clear up some miscommunications about the content and intentions of some of my tumblr posts. I think that many of my comments and entries have been misinterpreted out of context (no shocker, it’s the internet). The only reason I use Tumblr (other than boredom and an Internet addiction) is because I think that the medium has the capacity to spark meaningful dialogues. I am used to being placed in the role of “feminist educator” wherever I go in real life. I tend to butt in during conversations that bring up sex and gender, and often in the past I have felt that it is my prerogative to speak up and provide a critical lens. The Internet has the capacity to bring together a plethora of voices and I can see how, at times, I have stepped into territory that is not my space. I am still learning how to navigate certain issues and I am very sorry if you feel that I have stepped over my boundaries. Recently, an anonymous person linked me to this post about healthy cultural paranoia. This anonymous person was very kind, and I appreciate that they took the time to direct me to this link. I want to clarify that I totally agree 110% that it is understandable/healthy for a group of people who have been oppressed to purposely avoid or to have negative feelings towards people who blindly carry privileges which they do not. I am not arguing this at all. I am trying to push my own activist/anti-oppression community a little bit further. I think that many of us need to take some more responsibility, especially if we are going to label ourselves as activists. I think that labeling oneself as an activist or an anarchist or whatever inherently means that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions. I really see very little excuse for bashing and belittling an entire group of people who are also struggling (women, femmes etc.) and invalidating their rights to safe spaces based on the mistakes of a few. I think that many of the “dialogues” that have occurred on tumblr have bordered on misogyny and that, as activists, we need to be mindful. I think that there is a major difference between expressing your experiences and channeling an anti-oppression dialogue that is really fucking rude and hurts other people who are already hurting (just not in the same ways that you are). I find it really counterproductive for activists make blind assumptions about a person’s experience and start bashing them based on how they see them. You cannot assume that just because somebody has light skin they are white, or just because somebody has a female body they are female. Sometimes, people do not actively identify as one thing or another. Plus, there are so many unseen privileges that people do not realize that they have in most dialogues. I am all for intersectionality but I think that sometimes the lenses we use to discuss intersectional privilege can become really reductive. The point of intersectionality was never to look at people as though they are math equations to quantify their oppression. The point is to recognize the countless systems of power that come into play in any given situation. I think that part of being an activist means challenging the way that you look at those who are your oppressors. I did not always feel this way – in fact, until very recently, I agreed wholeheartedly with the majority of the feminist/queer rhetoric about righteous rage and segregation on tumblr. I still think that the vast majority of the responsibility needs to rest on allies to listen/be respectful/ask questions/make changes etc. (On a side note: I used to hate the term ally like many of you. Recently, I have been thinking about how calling myself a feminist isn’t enough because feminism can be so limited. Identifying as a feminist as well as an ally shows a willingness to be flexible and make changes) I do not think that people who are marginalized should have to play nice or be teachers. But I do think that, if I am going to call myself an activist, and I need to educate and share my voice to the best of my capacity while still respecting my boundaries. I used to hate straight men. Really. ALL straight men. Recently, I’ve been working really hard to challenge. I realized that I was making a lot of blind assumptions . My hatred was valid, but it was preventing me from acting as an ally in certain circumstances. Hatred was part of my healing, but I’m at a point where, as an activist, I feel that I need to try to move beyond that. This is a very personal thing, and I am not trying to tell others how they should act. I am posting responses/critiques in the hope of adding a new dimension to some of these dialogues though. I am very sorry if I offended anybody. Please, please, please write me a message or re-blog or something if you disagree or find what I said to be really messed up. You can use your real name – I won’t make it public if you would prefer for me not to. Feel free to call me out - some of the people who are closest to me have called me out before, and it has really helped me to grow . <3 - Rachel

3:27 pm  •  25 April 2011  •  7 notes